What is a Sex Positive Relationship?
Another question that I am frequently asked is… What is a sex positive relationship and HOW can I get one?
Well first of all, I just want to say that there is NO “one-size fits all” approach here- A sex positive relationship will mean different things to different people (and that is OK!). For me, for example, it has meant having a partner who will support me on my weird and wonderful journeys of self-discovery who will also accept me and acknowledge my process. I need to feel to safe and supported while being real with myself that I am unconventional and that I like to experiment. And crucially, whatever I want/ seek I want my partner to have latitude to experience the exact same thing. That is part of why we pursue “Consensual Non-Monogamy” which is discussed in Ch 8 of the book.
In the book, I share what I believe a sex positive relationship can be:
Sex positive relationships are ones where partners support each other’s choices and decisions without judgement, guilt or slut shaming. In a sex positive relationship, you can be whoever you want sexually, and do whatever you want sexually, without having to apologize for your sexual identity or expression, so long as you are not causing real harm to anyone else. In a sex positive relationship, you have permission to love your whole sexual body unconditionally, right now.
How to get there? Well, we have lot of conditioning to break through, and healing and empowerment to find. Only once we can reject society’s hegemonic, patriarchal programming, and do the inner work to connect to our own self-love, forgiveness and flow, can we we then work towards building sex positive relationships. This is why the book is organized into Part 1 (social) Part 2 (Individual) and Part 3 (Relationships). The final chapter of the book also gives my tips for building a sex positive relationships.